INTERVIEW: With a Swinger

First posted on 17 July 2013, on my original blog Sex, Shopping and Chocolate. This interview received over 100,000 visitors.

“They're back: my interviews with anonymous fetishists. Why? Because you lot seemed to love reading about peoples' fetishes and secret sex lives. So this time, I've interviewed a swinger, a lover of group sex.

So what is it that turns you on about group sex/swinging?

It's difficult to say really. I think it's the heightened level of passion, with more than one person. I enjoy watching and being watched, and enjoy the closeness of multiple bodies at the same time.

When I've been swinging with a partner - as opposed to just joining a threesome - I love watching my partner with another person. That "out of body" experience - watching her looking at them in the same way that usually only I get to experience - is such a turn on. I can't really explain it, it's a feeling of jealousy, but one that I enjoy.

What’s your favourite part of group sex?

I'm bisexual, so I really like being with a couple or a group of people with a bisexual couple too. Then I feel that all inhibitions are removed - everyone has fun with everyone. In a threesome, for example, I think my favourite situation is being inside the girl, while performing oral on the guy. 

Explain, in graphic detail please, your last group sex encounter...

I was at my friends' flat, a couple - let's call them Gemma and Mike. Gemma started talking about Fifty Shades of Grey, and suddenly the conversation took a kinky turn for the better! They told me how they were thinking about having some fun with someone else in the bedroom, and after a couple of bottles of wine, Gemma made the first move and leaned in to kiss me.

I looked over at Mike who was leaning back in his chair, glass of wine in hand - and he smiled back at me. I took this as my cue, and kissed her deeply, and as our hands began to wander, I noticed Mike start to slide his hand inside his jeans. After a bit of time, she stood up and led me into their bedroom. Mike followed and took a seat in the corner. Clothes were discarded and bodies intertwined. After some time Mike joined us on the bed, and with Gemma in the middle we took turns kissing her, licking her, and fingering her.

He then asked "would you like to fuck my girlfriend?". That question was such a turn on, and I responded by sliding deep inside her. He was smiling and she was kissing us both. The night continued, for quite some time, with Mike and I taking turns in pleasuring and being pleasured by Gemma. It was an exhausting and exhilarating evening!

Where do you think your fetish came from?

I think its a very common fantasy for guys to dream of being with two or more girls. In all honesty it was probably triggered by porn.

When was your first experience exploring your fetish? 

It came up for discussion years ago with an ex girlfriend, who was open to trying it. Our first experience was with a mutual female friend of ours. We spent the night kissing and touching but nothing too hardcore! This lead to meeting a couple on the internet, and visiting them at their house. It was my first partner swapping experience, and I loved it. It was so hot hearing my girlfriend screaming in ecstasy - but knowing it wasn't me doing it!

What’s your greatest group sex fantasy? 

I'd love to be tied to a chair in the centre of a room, somewhere like a Swingers Club, blindfolded, and touched all over by strangers.

Do your partners have a problem with your fantasy? Or are they pretty open? Has anyone ever flat-out said 'no' without even trying it?

It can be a difficult subject to approach. I've had some be open-minded, some who loved it, some who wouldn't even try it. But I'd never force anyone to do anything they say they're not interested in.

When I have done swinging or group sex with partners, we have to have the formal chat about limits and boundaries. You have to understand each other before going into it. It can either bring you closer together, or drive you further apart. If you're on rocky ground already it almost certainly won't fix anything.

Have you ever felt weird or embarrassed about your fetish?

I've never felt weird about it - but I've restrained myself from bringing it up if I know its not something they like.

What would you say to the people who say that swinging is only for old people who need something more stimulating sexually?

Don't knock it til you try it! If you're interested or want to try it - don't wait until you're old. There are plenty of young singles and couples doing it - and more are always welcome! If you're in a strong relationship swinging offers an opportunity to meet new people, (and maybe have sex with them) while your partner does the same, or possibly watches you. It really depends on what interests you!

Do you use swingers sites, events, or group sex porn sites that you can recommend?

I've met quite a few people through fabswingers.com. As with any website of its kind, there's a challenge finding that special needle in the haystack, but once you do you'll have a great time!